Lost Memories
by kitty-re
Summary: Peter battles with Neverland to keep his promise, he never wanted to forget - he never thought he could. "Lost memories are the only thing that can never be retrieved."


_A/N:_ _Whilst I was writing this I had my iPod on and I just had to keep on going back to **The Scientist; Coldplay** over and over again because it just helped me write it so much. I highly suggest listening to it whilst you read._

* * *

**Lost Memories;**

He surfed the rooftops every night looking for her house; nobody realizes how many rooftops there are in London until one has searched for just one.

Neverland had tricked him – it's the only answer. Surely it must have known that even though he cried out to forget his WendyLady he didn't really want to. He didn't want to forget those blonde ringlets or sparkling blue eyes, he didn't want to forget that laugh, those fights, the way her mouth curved when she held a sword.

He wanted to remember it all.

But Neverland had made him forget parts; he could no longer replay word for word their past conversations and the memory of her face was no longer as clear – like the spotlight had faded away and all that was left was the blurred silhouette.

Peter fought with his home land, demanded the memories back – screamed for the location of her window over and over again but Neverland is as stubborn as the young boy.

"Lost memories are the only thing that can never be retrieved."

Pan screams, shouts and curses; tears down branches of trees but it never comes to him.

He wages war against the place he once called Home but still does not remember.

So he searches; he breaks into the pirate ship with a different kind of emotion pumping through him – utter need instead of rebellious fun. And when Hook catches him he does not make grand declarations of humiliation but instead flies into his face and seizes his coat screaming,

"You've got them, you've got her! Give them back. GIVE THEM BACK HOOK THIS IS TOO FAR!"

The fear, innocence and confusion in the Captain's eyes is enough to make him fly away, he can always tell when somebody is lying to him.

He goes back to the island and searches through every tree and every chest, dives with the mermaids and breaks into the Indian Chief's hut. But she is no where and the pain of losing her again is just as crushing as when he first had to leave her at the windowsill.

His tears fall thicker and faster than before and his energy has been drained so much from searching that he does not even brush them away when the Lost Boys follow the path of destruction and salt water. He just clutches his hat between his hands and let his face fall as his back releases the greatest sob ever cried in Neverland.

_He had forgotten._

The Boys search for the memory now too but the twins have already completely forgotten; Nibs declares Neverland to be a crafty pixie – the only person Peter can't beat. She had beaten them all.

Peter spends every night searching the London windows, so much that Neverland has become like a flashing camera – freezing and unfreezing so much that its existence is beginning to crack at the seams. Peter begins to grow but he continues to search.

Hook takes his absences as battle strategies and The Boys cannot hold down the fort on their own and soon Neverland has become as dark as the London night sky.

Peter flies away, Neverland is taken, he returns and She is freed again.

The good guys' losing every day does not belong in the land of hopes and dreams and soon The Boys begin to slowly leave to turn into men. Tink has run out of fairy dust and Peter's cry of _**"You don't even exist!"**_ ends it all.

There is no regret as she falls; Peter has turned into a broken boy on the cusp on manhood.

When he looks into the water's reflection he does not recognize nor like the one looking back at him. His chin is beginning to grow itchy brown moss and he blames Neverland for it all.

Wendy left because she wasn't good enough for her, The Boys left because Neverland had cracked and finally broken – never allowing the sun to rise – and the Pirates had sailed away once they realizes they had won the battle but lost the war.

Brandishing swords didn't bring the same amount of adrenaline when your opponent just stood there and didn't fight back. Let you cut him with a blank expression on his face and walked off the plank with a bored nature to it.

The carved name of _"Wendy"_ above his bed was all the memory he had left of her, along with the fact that every time he saw her name his heart would squeeze like an iron fist had been wrapped around it and then released only seconds later.

Along with her name the word _'love'_ seemed to flow, he couldn't remember what it was but Peter had the faint idea that whatever this _'Love'_ thing could be that Wendy held his firm in her hand and took it back to her home. He thought maybe if Wendy came back to Neverland with this _Love_ that everything would be cured – all would be right.

So he waited for her to come back to him, to give back all the memories Neverland had taken away and stay with him – never growing up anymore, forever.

"_You only never grow up if your heart remains in Neverland and the day that Pan had shed a tear for the girl he thought was dead – his heart belonged to her._

_It was not big or boastful but it had been captured and flown back through the rooftops of London, hidden inside the tearstain on the acorn of a young girl with blonde ringlets and eyes of the brightest blue the sea could wish for."_


End file.
